S02E09: Dragon Rap Battle
The group pick a dope name and win their rap battle against Master P so hard that they become his managers. Background Tulip, the Spymaster of Neverwinter, has agreed to clear the gang's names if they retrieve some powerful magic artifacts that a dangerous cult is collecting to use in a ritual that will cause bad shit to go down. The gang is currently on the trail of the ring of fire, which is in the possession of a dragon named Master P, who is attempting to kick-start his rap career. The gang had just gotten into a brawl with the dragon's followers, the Juggalos. Session Juggalo chief Violent J stops the fight. Demands to know why the group is here. They announce that they’re the Mulmaster County Volunteer Fire Department, to which he replies that they’re a long way from Mulmaster and have killed a lot of his men for firefighters. They admit they’re here to take the Ring of Fire from the dragon, and he is impressed with their bravery, but points out that the dragon will kill them all. They want to convince him to let them kill the dragon, and he’s not going for it. Eventually the group has the idea to stage a rap battle. Violent J is delighted with this idea, because it plugs right into his promotion plans for the dragon. The bards will witness the rap battle. If the group wins, they get the ring and to live. If they lose, the dragon kills and eats them, and the bards spread the word of the dragon’s glorious victory. The group agrees, and J goes to set it up with the dragon. While he’s gone, the group kills all the remaining Juggalos and steal a few more faces before hiding the bodies. J returns and the group basically ignores him and heads up to start the rap battle. Kanye intimidates him into not doing anything about his missing crew. The dragon reminds them of the terms and agrees to the battle. He seems cocky and invites the challengers to go first. Kanye emerges from the crowd riding on the back of an invisible bear along with Clifton, playing the role of busty hype lady. Kanye delivers an epic set, punctuated by acrobatics, light shows, and a set of floating giant hands flipping him off. The dragon is shook, and delivers a weak performance. The bards nod along to his performance but clearly award the first point to Kanye. Second verse was delivered by Lady Ponycorn, along with more acrobatics, tumbling, light shows and Markus breakdancing. Once again, the dragon delivered a weak followup, and conceded his loss, handing over the ring. At this point, Averlyth felt bad for him, and the group offered to let him join their crew. When he asked how that would work, it turned into kind of a rap career management deal, where the group would call the dragon once they set up gigs, and he would fly out to perform (at which point the group would say “We don’t know what happened, these dudes just attacked the venue, and the crowd ran away! Can you kill them?”)